Originally posted on National Post | News:
The National Post re-imagines a week in the life of a newsmaker. Today, Tristin Hopper looks at the week through the eyes of longtime Sesame Street resident, Big Bird.
Bad move, Mitty-boy. You make Big Bird an election issue and you’ll be flunking out of the Electoral College just like the rest of the PBS haters. The worst part is, we could have played ball; a heartwarming appearance with Elmo really could have helped your, ahem, “stiff” reputation. We don’t pick sides here, Romney: We perched Barbara Bush among multi-ethnic children during the ’92 campaign. We read a book with Laura Bush to distract from surging Iraq casualties, and there was even that 1986 Oliver North special where he and Grover sold cookies to the Iranians — although I don’t think that ever made it to air.
It’s time to play hardball. If the GOP thought threatening seniors’ entitlements was a problem, try taking away one of the few happy memories left in a country full of embittered Baby Boomers and Gen Xers. Spastic, fuzzy puppets are the only thing those people believe in anymore, and if you don’t believe me, just wait till the exit polls come in. That’s right: Big Bird’s mounting an old-fashioned voting drive, and I’m going to start right here on Sesame Street.