Originally posted on National Post | News:

The National Post re-imagines a week in the life of a newsmaker. Today, Tristin Hopper looks at the week through the eyes of longtime Sesame Street resident, Big Bird.

Monday
Bad move, Mitty-boy. You make Big Bird an election issue and you’ll be flunking out of the Electoral College just like the rest of the PBS haters. The worst part is, we could have played ball; a heartwarming appearance with Elmo really could have helped your, ahem, “stiff” reputation. We don’t pick sides here, Romney: We perched Barbara Bush among multi-ethnic children during the ’92 campaign. We read a book with Laura Bush to distract from surging Iraq casualties, and there was even that 1986 Oliver North special where he and Grover sold cookies to the Iranians — although I don’t think that ever made it to air.

Tuesday
It’s time to play hardball. If the GOP thought threatening seniors’…

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